The Achill Island Essays 10
A Self-Made Man
If you can make one heap of all your winnings, and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss, and lose, then start again at your beginnings, and never breath a word of your loss...
Rudyard Kipling
I have been described by friends as a self-made man; independent, entrepreneurial, a risk-taker. By all accounts I have been successful in my run-up to middle age. I have a generally healthy and happy family, a mortgage-free home, my own business and enough financial resources to allow me to travel and indulge in my hobbies. I'm respected by my peers and regarded by most people as an OK kind of guy.
When I look at the factors of my success, four themes emerge. The first is that I've been a risk-taker. The second is that I have focused my efforts in a few select areas. The third is that I realized some time ago that is my personal responsibility to develop and maintain a positive attitude. And the fourth? The fourth is that I was born into most fortunate circumstances.
My late father-in-law, Lionel Hodes, was an important mentor in my life who told me the story of his conversation with a renowned Canadian entrepreneur. He asked this fellow why he was so successful. "By making good decisions." was the answer. "And how do you make good decisions?" was my father-in-law's obvious follow-up. "By making lots of bad ones." was the reply.
I've taken a lot of risks over the years: deciding to work rather than go to university full-time, getting married at age 19, having children, buying a house, quitting a secure government job to start my own business, quitting a well paid private sector job to restart my own business. Some of the risks have been the result of conscious decisions, weighing the pros and cons of various choices. My decision to leave government is an example. Other risks were uncalculated. At the time, there didn't seem to be much of a decision to be made. For example, at a certain point in my relationship with my wife, Carole, marriage was a foregone conclusion. It was inevitable. A big risk, but an obvious choice. Most of my decisions have been good decisions, and most of the risks, good risks.
As I look back on what I might objectively evaluate as bad decisions, I have to admit that even they have been a part of the path to my present circumstances. In retrospect, quitting my government job to start a business at the beginning of a recession was a stupid thing to do. I lost a lot of money and went heavily into debt. But had I not quit, the opportunities that later emerged would have gone unrecognized.
Taking risks is hard. Putting everything on the line with a chance of losing all is not something to be taken lightly. But its not unlike driving on a two-lane highway, wanting to pull out to pass the slow-moving line of traffic ahead of you. If you wait until there is no risk, you may be stuck in the slow traffic forever. If you're reckless, you'll find yourself in a deadly head-on collision. What you do is evaluate the circumstances, wait for an opportunity, then hit the gas. And you don't let up on the accelerator pedal until you're back in your lane, sailing with a clear road ahead of you.
Very early in my career I was impressed by an article in the newspaper about a Quebec businessman named Jean-Marc Chaput. He had written a book entitled "Living is Selling". One of the things he said was, "If you want to be a leader, find a parade and stand in front."
My greatest successes in business and government have come when I've decided to focus on one area, specialize, become an expert, and if possible, become the authority on the subject. It started with the privatizing of government services, then the application of smart card technology, and more recently, the security and privacy of personal information. In each of these areas I didn't start out as an expert. In fact, as emerging concepts, experts in these areas didn't really exist. What was needed was someone to wade into the morass and start to sort out the problems that were being encountered at every turn. In the early goings there was no money associated with these activities. Most of the work was voluntary, and often required a significant personal investment of money and time. In each case, the economic opportunities, the one's on which I have built my business and consulting practice, emerged years after the initial forays into the subject areas.
The third factor has to do with attitude. I've gone through periods in life where my attitude has been extremely negative, and times where it was extremely positive. While I would like to blame the negative times on circumstances, I've learned that how I feel about the world has much more to do with my internal state than with any external conditions. Whatever the circumstances, we can choose to feel good or to feel bad about them. Consciously deciding to feel good while in the midst of negative circumstances might not change anything, but it sure feels a lot better than being miserable about it.
I have found that when I change my own disposition by pure force of will, I am able to influence the situation around me. Often we're in situations where everyone around us is in the same state, with feelings of unhappiness, helplessness, despair. Such misery feeds on itself, creating a downward spiral. Someone has to break out of the pattern. On occasion that has been me, and it is on those occasions that I have seized the opportunities that have caused me to be successful.
In the fourth factor, I have to acknowledge that my success has come in large measure as the result of fortunate circumstances, and through the confidence and efforts of the many people who loved me, believed in me, encouraged me and trusted me. I honestly cannot say that I would be in the same position had I been a woman, or black, or gay. Perhaps my white maleness has been a more important factor in my success than I am prepared to admit. I don't know if I would have been able to achieve the same level of success if I had had abusive parents or a nagging spouse. Their love and support have been among my most valuable assets. I'm quite certain life would not be the same if I were living in Bosnia, Guatemala, or Somalia, or had I been born into Generation X rather than the Baby Boom. The very fact that I live in a particular place and time means that I can succeed when others, with the same knowledge, skills, and abilities, cannot.
I take pride in what I have accomplished to this point in life. I take credit for grabbing the brass rings as they came by. I enjoy the recognition I have received for my efforts. But I also acknowledge, appreciate and thank those people who have helped me along the way. I am grateful for the circumstances in which I have found myself.
March 1996
Postscript - March 2002
This original essay was written in March 1996. Now in March 2002, my credit cards are maxed, my house is mortgaged to the hilt, my bank account is at zero, I'm working 16 hour days, and I'm having the time of my life. Check back in a couple of years when I'll be planning my next venture.
About the Photograph: Photo of Brendan viewing the November 1994 total eclipse of the sun from La Lava, Bolivia, using welder’s glass to view the partial phases.